The next morning when I woke up I decided to read all the comments left on my shirt. I laughed at the ones that were on the front and when I flipped it over in big black writing were the words “my roommate is a nigger.”
There on my shirt was the word I hated most.
It was my freshman year at SUNY Plattsburgh, and my first semester started off with a big bang there was plenty of partying and soaking in a new environment. I was dealing with a lot of new things for the first time in my life. The experience at the start of the semester was great, I got along with my roommate, the dining hall food wasn’t too bad, and my classes weren’t very hard. College started off amazing and I was praying it would stay this way. However it all changed one night.
It was a Thursday night, right before parent’s weekend, so a group of us planned to go out on Thirsty Thursday since Friday night was shot. We were heading to a graffiti party, which is a party were you wear white t-shirts and people write on them with markers. The group headed out and was ready to party. My shirt had funny to inappropriate comments, which were written by friends or stranger. When it came to my roommates turn, she wrote on my back and giggled. I left thinking nothing off it until the next morning. I found her comment in plain bold letters on the back of my shirt, and there was no way she could deny it was her.
My father is black, and my mother is white. I have never looked at myself as one race, so to be classified as such by a small minded person made it feel worse. The part that made it most sickening, was that I had lived with the person who wrote it for about a month.
I hide the shirt in one of my draws in my room since my parents were coming later and I didn’t want to bombard them with this. I thought nothing of it for the past few weeks, blaming it on the fact that she had been drinking maybe; she wasn’t thinking clearly.
The content on the shirt didn’t really affect me until I saw that it wasn’t a mistake. Her mind was blocked off by crazy thoughts that someone had instilled in her, and I was the punching bag she decided to test them out on.
My roommate grew up in Johnstown, New York, 35 minutes out of Albany. The town demographic is over 90% white. She possibly grew up close minded and I was probably the first person of color for her to associate herself with. It was a shell shock for her, for she didn’t know how to communicate in an intelligent way without having a racist undertone.
I realized her writing “nigger” on my back wasn’t a joke or a misunderstanding a few weeks later. Time had passed and I didn’t think anything of the shirt incident anymore until one night at a friend’s house. I accompanied some friends to a small party at a friend’s house one weekend, we sat around and talking and playing beer pong.
My roommate ran track in high school and made it to Empires for high jumping, which is a big deal because the competition features the best from around the state. A mutual friend of ours asked her if she ever placed when she was there and her response was, “No black bitches could always jump higher than me.” I was within an ear shot of the comment and very offended, but yet again I said nothing.
In my mind I slowly started to piece everything together. My roommate was a racist and I was fed up with listening to the comments that spilled out of her mouth.
I called my parents and explained everything that was happening, they were appalled. My father made phone calls to the dean, and campus police. He sent me to set up meeting after meeting. We were looking for a solution.
The definition of a hate crime by the Violent Crime Control and Law Enforcement Act of 1994 states that “a crime in which the defendant intentionally selects a victim… because of the actual or perceived race, color, national origin, ethnicity, gender, disability, or sexual orientation of any person.”
Plattsburgh State University has college policies too, and in my eyes their policies were broken. In section VIII of SUNY Plattsburgh Campus Handbook, under discrimination and harassment it states “with Federal and State anti-discrimination legislation, has adopted a complaint procedure for the prompt and equitable investigation and resolution of allegations of unlawful discrimination on the basis of race, color, nation origin, religion, age, sex, sexual orientation, disability, veteran status or marital status.” Clearly, I was being discriminated against based on my race.
My father sent me to University Police. I sat down for an interview and was told to bring the shirt. In the end they said she had not committed any crime. Chief of University Police, Arlene Sabo, stated that there was certainly a bias relationship, but the culprit would have had to deface my property without my permission. I invited people to write on my shirt, so it is not against the law.
The police weren’t able to do anything since it wasn’t considered a hate crime. When asked about the incident Sabo said, “Why anyone would think that was appropriate baffles me.” If I had not invited individuals to write on my shirt and her comment stood alone, in all sense it would have been considered a hate crime.
Sabo said “No one is condoning what the person said.” The college tried to smooth over the situation by setting up meeting with me and my roommate to find some resolution to the problem.
The only problem with the definition of a hate crime is there is no grey line it’s either black, white or nothing else. But what about those crimes that are committed for the purpose of hate? They fall into that grey line, so what about those victims?
I brought the issues up to my roommate, but it didn’t go over so well. She believed that she had done nothing wrong. Her response was “I’ve never lived with you people, I don’t know how to act around you people.” She didn’t comprehend how she was classifying me as a group rather than an individual. I asked her if she knew who Civil Rights Leader Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. was, she looked at me as if I had two heads and said “no.”
I wondered how could someone be so cut off from the world around us, she didn’t even know about the man whose accomplishment we celebrate annually.
The Center for Diversity, Pluralism, and Inclusions (CDPI), Outreach Coordinator Kevin Pearson explained that there is plenty of racism here at Plattsburgh, but it does not fall into the definition of a hate crime. CDIP deals with less than the amount of racial issues that occur on campus, many students don’t feel comfortable enough to come forward, there not sure of the aftermath. Each semester there are two to four instances that CDPI will work with, said Pearson.
Pearson explains CDPI’s idea of Dual Victimization. The one who makes the remarks and is a racist, but there is something that contributed to what created this multiply factors they have become victims as well, 18 years of teaching one way can be hard to undo.
Plattsburgh State though is doing a lot to open the minds of their students. In the class diversity through film about 200 to 300 students pass through the class each year. Some of the students see a new light on things, some don’t, but being able to change just a few is the point of the class. You cannot change the world in a second; it takes time to break down barriers and old habits.
Dean of Students, Stephen Matthews, say the college is trying to bring diversity and understanding to the campus. Matthews has taken over orientation since 2000, and he says that they have been putting on a diversity workshop since before he started. The workshop went from a few minutes to an hour long. Is it going to change people outlooks, maybe not, but it will give them something to think about stated Matthews.
There are many close mind people who are here, and Matthew’s know and understands that. When asked how he felt about people having these ideas he stated, “If you choice to have those options it’s not against the law.” “I would like to think we have more open minded people then close minded,” said Matthews.
Plattsburgh State has an average of two or less hate crimes on its campus each year stated Matthews. From 2006 to 2008 there have been an average of two hate crimes on Plattsburgh States campus, as seen in the SUNY Plattsburgh Crime Statistics
What happened to me wouldn’t be considered a hate crime in the book of the law, but to many others it was. My rights were violated by another human being with an ill-intent behind it. The college did everything to find some way to prove to me that they were working in my favor. They had me sit down with my roommate and discuss the issues. To me the problem was never resolved. I still have a grudge on the school as a whole. I was put through hell, and no justice was served because I fell in between that grey line.
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